Different types of sex you need to try in your sexual lifeAurumie Baubo Feb 10 2020 at 12:34 PM
What do you think sex is? Is it simply penile penetration when a man inserts his penis into the woman’s vagina, and that’s the end of the story? If you think this is all there is to the idea of sex, you may be missing out on a few interesting and sexually satisfying experiences. How we think of sex at times comes from what we have been conditioned to think about it.
At times our social upbringing defines what sex should be all about. Man on top and woman on the bottom and that’s it. But is this all there is? If you are the exploring kind and do not believe sex is one act to be done out of routine but a joyous experience to be had, perhaps you may be already experimenting with different varieties of sex. If not, here are few ideas that you could explore, just to shake things up in the bedroom.
- Vaginal Sex: This is the garden variety sex that we have all been taught that sex is about, where a man thrusts his penis into the vagina of a woman and the friction creates sexual pleasure for both. This is also called vaginal intercourse. Here the man ejaculates semen into the vagina if he has not used a condom, which can lead to a pregnancy. Vaginal sex may not necessarily lead to the couple orgasming. At times, the woman may need some extra stimulation to the vulva or clitoris for her to get fully aroused and enjoy the penetration. You can also think beyond the penis and use a sex toy to penetrate or use one during penetration as well which can stimulate either or both genitals. This can increase the arousal factor and lead to a better sexual experience.
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- Anal Sex: When a penis is inserted into a person’s anus or is sexually stimulated with it, it’s called anal sex. Apart from the penis, you can insert your finger, tongue, a vibrator or dildo too into the anus, as you can into the vagina. Unlike vaginal sex, where the vagina becomes lubricated which makes penetration easier, inserting a penis into an anus may not be easy and may need external lubrication. This is something that couples need to acclimatize themselves with. Many men and women may find anal sex pleasurable. But it is quite possible that you may not like or enjoy it too, which is OK. Sex acts should not be forced on anyone.
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- Oral Sex: Many would claim that oral sex is not sex. That would not be true. Any kind of sexual contact between genitals or mouth to genitals or fingers to genitals can be construed to be sex. When you touch your mouth, lips or tongue to your partner’s genital and sexually stimulate and pleasure it by licking and sucking, it’s oral sex. One uses different phrases to refer to it – going down or eating out or giving a blow job.
If oral sex is performed on a woman, where you lick and touch her vulva or clitoris with your tongue or mouth, it would be called Cunnilingus. If you lick and suck on a man’s penis, it would be called giving him a ‘blow job’ or performing a Fellatio. If you sexually stimulate your partner’s anus with your mouth, lips or tongue it would be called Analingus or Rimming. The anus can have a lot of bacteria, so maintaining hygiene in this region is of utmost importance.
Oral sex is a great way to explore each other without the fear of getting pregnant. One has to be careful when touching your partner’s genitals with your mouth because they are sensitive areas, and your teeth and tongue could hurt it. So, take it slow and explore leisurely.
- Masturbation: When you sexually stimulate your erogenous zones with your fingers or a toy, you would be masturbating. Women massage their vulva and clitoris with their fingers or insert them into their vagina to arouse themselves and drive themselves to orgasm. Men, on the other hand, use their hand to rub their penis, in an up and down motion or touch their testicles also. Many men and women feel sexually stimulated when they touch their anus too. You can also use sex toys to get the best masturbation self-pleasure. Masturbation is a very healthy and safe way to release that sexual tension, without the worry of getting pregnant or acquiring any Sexually Transmitted Infections. You may or may not choose to do it. Either way, it is your choice. But it’s perfectly natural to want to do it and feel good about it without any guilt.
- Mutual Masturbation: This can be a precursor to the act of penetrative sex or can be pleasurable as a stand-alone sexual act too. While you can masturbate alone, you can also do it in front of your partner or help him or her masturbate. Couples can attain better sexual satisfaction when both are sexually aroused and lubricated. Masturbation can help in this. Stimulating each other requires one to trust the other and this helps in enhancing sexual arousal and orgasm too.
- Fingering: Fingering is a great way to sexually stimulate a woman. Many women at times need longer foreplay sessions so that they can orgasm better. Fingering can be that pre-step to sexual intercourse, which can increase vaginal lubrication. But it can also be the whole of the sexual act. It involves stimulating the clitoris or vulva with gentle and sustained strokes of the fingers so that the nerve endings around the vaginal area are stimulated and this leads to better arousal. Women also finger themselves when they masturbate. If you use fingers to stimulate the vagina, make sure your nails are well kept as it could hurt it or cause an infection.
- Hand Job: When a woman stimulates a man’s penis by running her hands up and down the penis and shaft and massaging the testicles, she would be giving him a hand-job. The outcome of such motion could result in the man ejaculating and orgasming too. This, like fingering, can be a full-blown sex act on its own, or pre-cursor to penetrative sex. It need not end up in the couple having sexual intercourse. A woman can give her man a handjob or a man can finger his woman anywhere. And this makes Fingering and Hand Job an important sexual tool for adding that sexual spice into one’s sex life. As in fingering, women must maintain nail hygiene so as not to hurt the man’s penis or scrotum which is pretty sensitive. And just like women enjoy a gentle touch, so do men. So move slowly, and with care.
- Dry Humping: Sex need not necessarily end up in intercourse or penetration. But what is surely important is one’s state of arousal. You can be aroused by your partner’s mouth or genital region engaging with your body without any actual penetration. Or even without any skin-to-skin contact. And this can give you orgasm too. Dry humping or pleasuring your mate is an easy way to get the quick bite of arousal and at times an orgasm too. Between partners, a woman can rub her vagina against a man’s hand or thigh or his knee. A man can rub his penis against the woman’s butt, in between her breasts or thighs even. You can also rub or massage each other’s erogenous zones through the clothes you are wearing. For a woman, anything that creates sexual friction between her vagina – a pillow or sofa arm, can do the trick in arousing her. A dry hump is a great way to stimulate the body sexually and work towards building up sexual tension which can enhance the quality of one’s orgasm.
When trying out any new technique, don’t go straight to the vagina or penis. Play a little with the other erogenous zones so that your mate is sexually aroused and gets in that mood. That’s the warm-up for the mind to expect to get touched in the genitals and be ok with it.
When you are having sex, do what makes you feel good and what you are comfortable with. At times, experimenting with things and stepping out of the safe zone can add that extra spice in your sex life. But everything must be done with proper communication and consent. At times, what you may wish to explore, your partner may be hesitant or shy to do. Bullying or throwing a tantrum in such a situation won’t work and neither will it be sexually satisfying for you.
Explore new ideas and positions by talking to each other, and setting clear expectations. It’s very OK to feel differently about things. That’s where the trust factor comes in, for both, which encourages one to explore things beyond what one considers to be routine. Sex is supposed to be fun and exciting. Extend your sexual boundaries with care and concern for each other’s physical and emotional well-being, and it can open up a whole new world of pleasure.